Good Morning (NOT!)

I am so beat. The kids haven't been sleeping well lately, which means Mommy doesn't sleep either. Isn't there a form of torture where they keep waking you up over and over again, so you never get any actual rest, just get to doze off and then YANK! you're awake again...

Rachel is sick, and I'm starting to feel crummy (big surprise). So far Ben seems fine, but I called him in sick anyway, because I'm too damned tired to haul him out of bed and drag him to school. Besides, he's probably carrying Rachel's germs even if he isn't symptomatic yet. *sigh* This is going to be such a fun day. Heh. I typo'd "suck" instead of "such." How appropriate.

God I'm a ray of sunshine this morning, aren't I? Truth is, I'm stressing about some stuff. That's at least half of why I'm not sleeping well. It's not entirely because of the kids.

It's this whole "in charge" thing. I don't try to do it, I don't want to do it, but I always end up in charge of things. It's just because I see something that needs to be done, or that needs help getting done, and I can do that sort of thing so I jump in and do it, and next thing you know, it's my responsibility. Then it becomes an obligation. Then I start to resent it. Then I withdraw and my brain refuses to deal with it, which leads to procrastionation which results in more stress because now I have three days to accomplish two weeks' worth of work and I'll be letting people down if I don't. *phew*

Guess I'm just gonna have to grit my teeth and blow through, again, and get it done. God I hate this. It doesn't start out as a burden. It's always exciting in the beginning. What's my problem, anyway?